Trouble says:
August 16, 2011 at 1:30 pm
If the only thing that gets your sexual motor going with your current relationship is porn or trading sexy texts with an ex-boyfriend, your relationship has some problems that need to be addressed.
I know I’m in love when the only person i can think about sexually is my guy (an echo of CR’s sentiment). The way that I protect that love is by keeping my focus on him, and not allowing my fantasies to drift too far afield from him. If I need to get horny, I think about my partner…the way he smells, the way his body feels agaist my naked skin, the way his strong hands grip my body…you get the picture. Entertaining a lot of unappropriate fantasies about other men can turn into a really ugly reality. I’ve seen this happen to friends, and it isn’t a good outcome.
I protect my fantasy life because by doing so, I protect my fidelity to my partner.
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Paula says:
August 16, 2011 at 3:49 pm
I think it was Divorced Joe who said it here recently, something to the effect of “you can’t control your desires, but you can control what you do about them.” Some of us, even those who have remained completely monogamous within relationships, don’t have a monogamous brain, and can’t really control our fantasy life and what pops into our heads unbidden. However, indulging that through sexual communication (of whatever nature, whether “sexting” or not) is something you can control.
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